Do you have the confidence to start an online business?

Starting an online business is the same thing as starting anything new.  It takes confidence and courage to take the first step. Have you experienced a voice in your head that says “go for it” or “ stop you idiot, what is you fail?"  Author Danielle Krysa describes the voice in our heads as our “inner critic”. This inner critic can move us forward or stop us in our tracks.

Where Does Our Inner Critic Come From?

This voice in our head starts putting together a script early in life. It has the power to erode our confidence throughout our life. It usually starts with an off hand comment a misunderstood interpretation of a look or maybe an early life experience.  Sometimes our inner critic develops momentum in areas we are unaware. Whatever the voice, we all have dialogue in our heads that never stops. It’s probably why movies like What Women Want and What Men Want are popular and so funny. We can all relate!

An Example of the Dialogue Within

"Think of something so simple as forgetting someone’s name. Here’s an example, maybe you can relate “Darn, there is what’s her name.  What is her name anyway.  Oh dear I just met her last week….A, B, C, D, E…..Evelyn, Elizabeth, Ella, none of these are right. What’s the matter with me, I’m so stupid.  How am I going to learn anything new with a memory like mine. Here she comes, this is so embarrassing, she is going to think I’m an idiot?"

See what I mean?

Our Inner Voice is Often a Bully

“Stupid, idiot, memory like mine?" Our inner voice is often a bully.  We wouldn’t talk to other people like this so why is it okay to talk to ourselves this way?

Lies We Tell Ourselves

Krysa says the lies we tell ourselves fit into four buckets. These are Fear, Blame, Environment (our personal environment) and Time. The focus of Krysa's book is art and creativity. The parallels to starting an online business are many. It takes confidence and yes creativity to venture into less traditional work, like working online.  It takes commitment and time to learn any new skill. Here are some actual examples of what people gave to the question:

"What is the best excuse you use to keep your creative life on the back burner?"

1) Fear

"I'm so afraid of failing". "There are so many real artists out there who could do it better; why bother?" "Everything I make sucks, I should stop until I come up with something that doesn't suck."

2) Blame

"My kids deserve homemade food more than I deserve to paint for four hours." "My iPhone is holding me captive." "My parents think it's too weird."

3) Environment Issues

"I can't concentrate with my house so messy. then after I clean it , I don't want to make another mess." "I have nowhere to work. My bedroom is too small.  The basement is too dark. If I had a room with big windows I would be painting all the time." "The light isn't right."

4) Time

"There's no point in starting now because I'll have to stop in three hours to go to work." "I've got to reply to this last email. Repeat a thousand times." It's too late in the day to get started". 

This are a few examples of a long list of excuses.  Why we can't possibly pursue some new endeavour that takes us out of our comfort zone.  Imagine if we re-directed the energy that it took to come up with all the excuses?! Excuses have a foundation of low self-confidence and self doubt.  Below we talk about how to rise above to reach the success you have imagined.

Three things to Counteract Self-Doubt

Author Danielle Kyrsa interviewed people who had made it to the top of their creative careers. Professional artists, musicians, authors.  All of whom were “living the dream”. Kyrsa asked if they had ever experienced self-doubt and they all confirmed they had. The difference being, these people didn’t let their inner critic stop them from moving forward. What over-road self-doubt and kept them moving forward were the following three things.

1) Dedication

They keep working through challenges no matter how difficult the task was.  They surrounded themselves with people who have already been successful.  Learning from the mistakes of others helped to move success closer. ​The journey is the destination and they enjoyed the process.

2) Time

They made time.  They made their goal their priority and make achieving it a part of every day. Even if it meant getting up at 5 am and working before their regular work day. They made sure they could carve out time during the day when they were most energetic and productive.

3) Trust

The ability to differentiate between when that voice in your head is inner judgement or a beacon bringing you back on course. It’s complex, the voice in our heads plays many roles.  It can be a friend, a guide or a saboteur. It’s knowing your inner voice.  Where it comes from and having the self-awareness to decipher the role it’s playing in the moment.

Life Lessons

Life does not provide a road map, there is no pass or fail, no final grade.  What separates people who succeed and people who don’t is work.  Hard work.​​​​

“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary”. 

There are many different people from Mark Twain to Vince Lombardi who have been connected to this quote.  Whoever said it had the right idea.  Which ever path you choose - to be an artist, an affiliate marketer, a digital entrepreneur.  It will take hard work and dedication and a willingness to get way outside your comfort zone.

Commit Over and Over Again

It’s not about making a commitment to learning new skills once. It’s about recommitting every time learning new skills is difficult.  It’s about continuing to make time in your day, even though you feel frustrated and defeated. When the going gets tough the inner critic becomes louder and more persistence.  Your inner voice won't allow you to be happy easily. Who would your inner voice talk to?

Finding a Supportive Community

Surrounding yourselves with people helps to make the journey more enjoyable. Any a little bit easier. By people we don’t mean just anyone, we mean people who support your journey.  Not the people who mirror your inner critic. Some people want to keep you just the way you are. If you change, they might have to look at their lives and that could be uncomfortable. Some people prefer status quo.

A Sense of Belonging

We met people on the same type of journey.  People who will supported us, encouraged our growth and didn't try and stunt it.  Individuals just like us who we trust. We became involved in an educational community and program called Six Figure Mentors or SFM.  Now, surrounded by people just like us living all around the world.  Most didn’t understand technology, just like us. Lots wanted time freedom to do meaningful work, just like us. Most were fearful at first, just like us. 

Know the Meaning Behind the Dialogue

Our inner voice is just a critic, it’s not who we are. It’s someone else's voice that long ago we took on as our own.  Having the self-confidence and courage to take a leap into the unknown is a way to override this voice.  We aren’t saying you won’t hear the inner critic again, you will. With self awareness we learned how to distinguish if the inner voice was there to guide us, support us, or stop us in our tracks. 

We hope the same for you.